Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Yes. I'll give you a bit of my past.

I feel the need to explain my past just a bit, at least where it pertains to the kids.  Why? Just to give you some background.  To explain some things I might post in the future.  To explain what makes me, me. To explain why I might post more about one child than another. And possibly so someone out there can relate.  It's not something I talk about much, online or in person.  If we're close, you know my story.  Otherwise, I guess, what do I say? How do I even explain? This continuously throws me for a loop when encountering new people. When do you bring it up? How do you say it? I feel as though my situation might differ quite a bit from the stereotypical parent/child relationship or family that most people picture, but honestly, every family dynamic is unique. Here goes a bit of my story:

I am recently divorced (2012). I was married for almost 8 years, getting married a short 4 months after meeting. Little M was only 11 months old when we married (and NO my ex-husband was not with her birth mom at the time we met). I think people are always curious about the fact that Little M is not mine when they find out her age and how long I was married. Little M lives with me. Her dad and I are still working out the best schedule between us. She sees her birth mom on occasion, and is now settling into a regular schedule with her. She calls me "mom." If her birth mom and I are in the same room, Little M refers to me as "mommy lori" and her birth mom as "mommy (her first name)." She has done this for a long time, with no prompting from us. For all intents and purposes, I am her mom, not her stepmom, not her ex-stepmom.  I will admit that this was not my expectation when I married, but you take what life throws at you and try to make the best of it. She will always be my daughter.

Miss W was 8 years old when my ex-husband and I married. She has a different mother than Little M and an entirely different situation.  Miss W was born when my ex and her mom were in high school, so there is a mere 15 year age difference between Miss W and I. Luckily, thankfully, counting my blessings here, Miss W and I have always gotten along. We have never had an issue and I hope for this to always continue. She lives with her mom - coming to stay with me a few times a month when she can fit it into her busy teenage working/boyfriend lifestyle. To her, I am definitely her stepmom. She will always be mine as well.

Obviously, the situations with the girls and their moms differ completely, but now you can see why I might post more about one child than the other. My ex and I encountered many struggles and overcame many obstacles with both the girls and their mothers over the years. Blended families are always interesting.

And a brief summary of my divorce. . .it was not my choice or doing. I did not see it coming. But there is a plan for us all.  Of that, I am confident. I am currently pregnant with my ex-husband's child. Just as he and his new girlfriend are expecting their own child. Yep.  Not ideal.  Far from ideal. Nothing I'd wish on anyone, but I am filled with a positive spirit and will continue on to have a great life.

 There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” 

― Albert Einstein

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

EVERYTHING! is a miracle. The little caterpillars I am nurturing to chrysalis stage are reminding me of this! Proud of you my coolest sister EVER. :)